Tuesday, November 22, 2005

 

they give you this, but you paid for that

I hate the new harry potter movie. I have never seen or read any HP before; therefore, it can be assumed that I hate it for its own lack of merit rather than for a poor relationship to my "harry of the mind" or whatever.

1. it's racist and sexist. The two new schools, are you kidding me? Those swarthy men from the north who contain elements of Kossak, Viking, and Arab just happen to be dumb as paint. Despite his superior physiology, Krum stands no chance against our thin-featured hogwarts duo because of his insufficient cognative abilities. Somebody call Al Campanis, quick! And Hermione, our own version of natalie holloway will never truly fall for the racialized brute. She perfers that ugly anglo dullard, george.

The girls from the french school are equality groan-inducing. (Although their breast-and-nipple shaped hats are hysterical). The tri-wizard french girl finishes last in every contest because as we all know, girls can't do magic. She only exists to get into trouble so harry can demonstrate his moral fibre.

all the hogwarts students in their ethnic ballroom garb are silly. cho chung and the patels are perfectly normal adolescent girls, and then boom, its all saris and kimonos.

2. I am so over the "chosen boy battles lord of darkness" trope. I saw it in Matrix 3, I saw it in spiderman, and don't even get me started on Star Wars. The climatic battle was painful and boring. I was just hoping more owls will show up. And while we're at it, the thinly veiled metaphors for normal life that comprise science fiction as far as i can tell are cheap and stupid.

3. Hermione. I admit I was totally smitten with hermione. In my defence, I was diagnosed with a terminal case of "nerd envy" by a deadly serious princeton doctoral student as early as 2000. but I have taught 15 year olds, and as wise-eyed as they look, trust me, it is totally icky.

4. George. He has no redeeming qualities. I think he did his stanislavski work studying the bully with the preternaturally deep voice from king of the hill.

I love dumbledore.

Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?