Wednesday, February 22, 2006

 

Rickey Henderson also loves the olympics

clovers has returned from an exhausting stint as his alter ego, mild-mannered seabird researcher, at the national conference for all such mild mannered folk in Alaska. In keeping with his tradition of not saying too much about his day-to-day happenings or the people who comprise them, there isn't much to report except that academic politics are real. He is distressed to learn that senor beavis has scooped him about the incredibly cute and intense-looking US women's curling team who are from Bimidji, Minn. and are composed of a pair of sisters...the Johnson sisters. Swear to god. Their attractiveness was enhanced by the fact that there are lots of 50 year old norwegian hags as rival skips which set them off like a foil. Too bad they totally disappointed in the results catagory. but Cassie and Jaimie, Clovers salutes you. Clovers thinks Sasha Cohen looks creepily underaged, however, at least she isn't tara lipinski or sarah hughes who were both the spiritual heiresses to the tanya harding memorial no-class US skater nut-bowl. Clovers saw sasha's short program and it was dynamite. Clovers also believes that the US obsession with figure skating can be tied into Natalie Holloway and the general infatuation with small, pale-skinned, highly feminine young women. Clovers notes the hypocrisy of his previous statment about the Johnsons, but stands by it because of the sub-saturation popularity of curling.
Clovers, proving that his is officially over some sort of metaphorical hill, does not like snowboard cross and frankly doesn't really want to see any crossover between the X- and Olympic Games. That means you, moguls and half-pipe. Clovers does respect shaun white's post-win interview skills. Clovers salutes Shani Davis on his historic victory. Clovers also salutes Dan Jansen and DHL for their Cam Neely/Sportscenter-style ironic commerical. Clovers thinks team pursuit has potential. Clovers still giggles every time he hears the name KC Bouttiere--this is like 3 olympics straight. When there is CloverTV, it will only show any even involving nordic skiing, speed skating, luge/skeleton/bobsled, ski jumping, and curling. Clovers certainly does not want to watch professionals play hockey badly and without chemistry. He sees enough goddamned hockey on TV already, thank you. Although there are crowds of jersey-wearing students in University Center watching team canada play russia right now. go russia. Shouldn't the guy who jumps the farthest win the ski jump? what is this scoring system? Clovers is curious why China is good at pairs skating and women's short track and nothing else. Clovers is very curious what life in a sequestered developmental camp is like for chinese pairs skaters. it is so incongruous. Clovers is iritated that everyone was engaged by/uncomfortable about Johnny weir because he was so gay, yet none of the articles about him used the word. Clovers absolutely loves the olympics. It is like special treat-- an ice cream cone to break up the usual pierogies of hockey and NBA. except when NBC inserts junky segments, then clovers switches the channel. He can't wait for World Cup 06 either. If anyone has a short-wave radio, he is going to need it on his desolate island.

Clovers will be participating in the Zoology Dept. Bonspiel on sunday. wish him luck. last time he tried a new recreational ice sport at the behest of his superiors, he earned a separated shoulder and six weeks of solitary confinement. He is looking forward to shouting "Hard! Hard!" as professors sweep busily at his tosses. he was also a member of the 4x1km winning Nordic ski relay at aforementioned seabird conference. His part involved not falling over and letting his obscenely fast teammates do the rest.

Comments:
From my own personal experience I can tell you that curling is, sin duda, the best sport ever. I refer you to the DC Curling Team's website.
 
glad to know you are still alive. I told Fletcher to look into that one. Also, don't forget the shooting/skiing event - where does Clovers stand on that one?
 
it is covered under paragraph 1, section 1, sentence 8 clause 3, "any event involving nordic skiing."
 
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